We moved, blah blah blah. We are on a farm, blah blah blah. I've been here by myself with the kids often, blah blah blah. It gets boring, I watch a lot of Parenthood, I do a lot of baking (and eat a lot of baking), I do a lot of laundry. Blah. Blah. Blah.
That's life in a nutshell lately. The only new things that I have neglected blogging about are: Sprout's 4th birthday (whoops...happy birthday...now that you've had 4 of them, I'm probably going to forget to blog about them because as you get older, life just seems to get busier), I've started up a small dance company teaching kids ages 1-12 in a nearby small town, I have been really sick a lot since winter has begun (and so has Seedling), Sprout cracked her head wide open and gave herself a wicked concussion (which resulted in a hefty ambulance bill I'm trying to ignore for a while), and...hmm...not really much else.
Christmas is coming, and it's had me thinking about how much I miss my family and friends since moving here. Life moves at a much different pace here on the farm, and it is still a bit of a learning curve for me. We are busy, but it is a different kind of busy. A less-busy-more-trying-to-find-things-to-do kind of busy. We go outside. I have been taking care of the animals. Farm animals. Just cats and cows, but for those of you who really know me, the idea of me strapping on a pair of coveralls, big work gloves, and boots, and hauling two kids out to the corrals to pitchfork-heave a bunch of hay bales to the cows is a bit of a hilarious thought. Think about it for a minute. Really...picture it. I can't do it without giggling. The kids have had a ton of fun though, and I am really glad that this is becoming an important part of their childhood.
I can't pretend like I don't miss our life back home. I talk to friends and family often, but it's especially been tough at this time of year to not be able to just pop out and see them. Go Christmas shopping together. Have a caramel brûlée latte at Starbucks while perusing the wares at Chapters with my mom, grandma, and sister. Drag my kids out to the toboggan hill with the neighbours and haul them up and down for hours. I miss it all. At this point though, if we decided that it wasn't working (which it definitely is, now that we have a plan for work/school for everyone), and left, I would miss this home, and the family and friends here as well. I'm so grateful and thankful for the awesome people I have met here.
Basically, this is my thanksgiving/Merry Christmas post to everyone. I'm grateful and thankful you are all in my life, and if I could have one Christmas wish - one little miracle, it would be that God blesses all of you this year with an abundance of love, happiness, joy, and peace. You all deserve it. Now, to go and make a cup of Christmas chai, turn on some good ol' Bing Crosby, and wrap presents.
Just you wait, my little tots. Mommy's got some pretty awesome, special, and magical things coming your way. I mean, Santa does.
xoxoxo
Mommy
Monday, December 9, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
E-I-E-I-O
1. We have moved in.
Doesn't seem like a big deal, but it was for me. This wasn't just us coming with suitcases to stay for a week at Christmas. We are here, here. The kids' rooms are settled, unpacked, and lived in. They are happy in their spaces, and have learned their way around the house more than they have in previous times we have been here visiting. They know places they aren't allowed to go, things they should stay out of, and the boundaries of the yard.
2. We have consolidated, amalgamated, purged, and cleaned.
Not everything. This house is over 100 years old (actually, it's two houses that are both over 100 years old, one is just about 6-7 years older than the other, which is incredibly interesting and poses challenges for the upcoming renovations), and my in-laws have lived here for about 30 years. You accumulate a lot of crap in 30 years. We accumulated a TON in only 5 years. So we've been sorting through things, throwing things out, consolidating things like our spices, baking materials, linens, towels, and basically everything in the house. It's a lot of work, but I think that everyone is on board and happy with the results.
3. We have started sourcing out schools and activities.
This is a super tough one. I have major anxiety about school choice for Sprout for next year's giant leap into kindergarten. If we would have stayed put where we were, she would have gone to the private Christian school where she attended preschool. Here, it's a little more difficult. Not only is there tuition to be paid, we also have to consider the fact that the bus from the farm to the private Christian school costs an arm and a leg and takes the kids away for another 1-1.5 hours per day. The public school closest to us doesn't even have 'grades' because the school is so small. There are two divisions and two teachers, and that's it. I do not like that option for my children. At all. Personal preference. And the next closest school with the best testing scores (I know the Fraser report isn't everything, but it is something to consider) is about 25 min away, with no bus available, meaning I'd have to drive them. Every. Day. I don't know how I feel about that. Basically, I'm just happy at this point that I've found a dance class and possible piano instruction for Sprout, and swimming and gymnastics classes for Seedling. He desperately needs a trampoline; I think he's turning into a Mexican jumping bean.
4. I've started making friends, and so have the kids.
Whew. This was a tough one for me. It's so difficult to actually make new friends as an adult. How do you do it? It's not like when you're working full time and can interact and meet people through the workplace - when you're a stay at home mom, what do you do? Stalk other potentially-cool parents at the park? Eavesdrop on conversations at Starbucks to see if you might have something in common with another woman with a diaper hanging out of her purse? Facebook and Twitter have been fabulous places to connect with others, so I have actually turned to social media for my social life, and have made some connections with a few great local moms who seem to be really awesome parents and potentially great friends. The kids have been getting involved at the church, which has also been fantastic, considering they will most likely see a lot of those kids on the bus to the private school, if that's the route we choose.
5. We have started making floor plans and interior design plans for the house.
It's going to be a LONG time before it gets done, or even gets started. We have a lot of legwork to do prior to the renovations, but watching the plans come together makes it extremely exciting. This is a beautiful house, and I cannot wait to grab a sledgehammer and bring it up to date in a way that will preserve the classic farmhouse beauty it possesses.
All in all, it's been a great start. Career-wise, I have a few options that I am looking into. I don't want to limit myself, but I also have to be careful now that I have a husband who will undoubtedly be away from home quite often for work. The kids have been so happy here. Watching them learn to play (yes, learn to play...really funny to watch city kids after a few days on the farm - they've had to use their imaginations a lot more, which has been both hilarious and fantastic) out here has been just awesome. We've got plans for possible sheep and chickens in the spring, and have been eyeing up a farm dog and more cats. I'm excited and anxious and nervous for the next few months, as we will be traveling a lot and staying in Canmore (how awful, I know) during the winter. I'll keep everyone posted. It wasn't easy being away the first few weeks, especially for my one week that I was here alone while everyone else was gone for work, but we are happy and settling in and having fun so far.
Two more weeks, and we'll be back to visit family and celebrate Sprout's 4th (EEK!) birthday! :)
Monday, September 23, 2013
Let me see you MOVE!
Moving is a touchy subject in my household. Growing up, I lived in more houses than I can count on two hands in my hometown alone, and then there are the places I've lived since I moved out on my own! It wasn't ever a bad thing, just moves out of necessity to build the life that my parents had envisioned for our family. Needless to say, when we bought/built our first house, I was determined that it was going to be THE house that we lived in. For twenty years or more.
That brings us to today, and yet another excuse for why I haven't been blogging the past months. We are making a big move next week. Colossal. Huge. We are picking up and moving our family 500-ish-kms south of here. To a farm. Not any old farm. My in-laws' farm. Don't get me wrong - they aren't moving out of their house, we are moving in.
Sound crazy? It very well might end up being the craziest thing we have ever done. Good crazy, or bad crazy? Nobody really knows yet, and we won't know until we try it out. They have a huge, very old farm house (like, over 100 years kind of old) that needs some serious renovations, but it is a beautiful house on an even more beautiful piece of land. On a clear day, you can see the mountains, and on a day that is less than stellar, you can almost always see the foothills. It is full of wide open spaces, what is affectionately known to southern Albertans as 'big sky' (if you've been there, you'll know what I'm talking about), and a few animals. What could be better for raising kids? Plus, they will be growing up in the same house as their grandparents (one set, I'll get to that in a minute) and building close relationships that they will hopefully treasure for the rest of their lives.
Why are we moving? What on earth would take us that far away, leave this house that we built, my whole family, our friends and kids' friends, and our jobs?
Faith. Hope. The promise of the life that we have always wanted for our children.
Does that make it any easier to leave? Not really. It was an extremely difficult decision, especially because B and I both have amazing jobs here, and because I knew that leaving would be really tough on my family. We are a very close-knit group, and the biggest thing holding me back when we were talking about the decision was family. I knew that although we may not see each other as much, the time that would be spent in the future would be quality. Let me explain...
When we have our Sunday dinners right now, it is a busy afternoon and evening for everyone. We jam an entire week (or two) of visiting into a few hours. Don't misunderstand - I love our dinners, and will miss them dearly - I am just very much looking forward to coming for 3-5 days and being able to spend most of our time here visiting without feeling like everything is extremely rushed. Over the course of the year, we will probably spend more hours than we would just visiting on Sundays and the occasional Saturday shopping trip.
All in all, it is a really scary/crazy/exciting/sad/happy time for all of us, and while the kids were upset about the move at first, now they can't wait until next week when we can go and set up their new rooms and they can just be at the farm with all of their stuff. Will it work out and will we stay there? I have no idea. I'm really hoping so. The renovation alone is extremely intriguing for me, as I have never been a part of one that large before, and I've been wanting to update certain things in that house for years!
I will keep blogging throughout the process, and hopefully throw some parenting tips out along the way (there will definitely be one about explaining a big move to an almost-4-year-old).
Oh. There's one more thing.
There is...only...ONE...bathroom.
I'll let you know how that works out.
xoxoxo
C
That brings us to today, and yet another excuse for why I haven't been blogging the past months. We are making a big move next week. Colossal. Huge. We are picking up and moving our family 500-ish-kms south of here. To a farm. Not any old farm. My in-laws' farm. Don't get me wrong - they aren't moving out of their house, we are moving in.
Sound crazy? It very well might end up being the craziest thing we have ever done. Good crazy, or bad crazy? Nobody really knows yet, and we won't know until we try it out. They have a huge, very old farm house (like, over 100 years kind of old) that needs some serious renovations, but it is a beautiful house on an even more beautiful piece of land. On a clear day, you can see the mountains, and on a day that is less than stellar, you can almost always see the foothills. It is full of wide open spaces, what is affectionately known to southern Albertans as 'big sky' (if you've been there, you'll know what I'm talking about), and a few animals. What could be better for raising kids? Plus, they will be growing up in the same house as their grandparents (one set, I'll get to that in a minute) and building close relationships that they will hopefully treasure for the rest of their lives.
Why are we moving? What on earth would take us that far away, leave this house that we built, my whole family, our friends and kids' friends, and our jobs?
Faith. Hope. The promise of the life that we have always wanted for our children.
Does that make it any easier to leave? Not really. It was an extremely difficult decision, especially because B and I both have amazing jobs here, and because I knew that leaving would be really tough on my family. We are a very close-knit group, and the biggest thing holding me back when we were talking about the decision was family. I knew that although we may not see each other as much, the time that would be spent in the future would be quality. Let me explain...
When we have our Sunday dinners right now, it is a busy afternoon and evening for everyone. We jam an entire week (or two) of visiting into a few hours. Don't misunderstand - I love our dinners, and will miss them dearly - I am just very much looking forward to coming for 3-5 days and being able to spend most of our time here visiting without feeling like everything is extremely rushed. Over the course of the year, we will probably spend more hours than we would just visiting on Sundays and the occasional Saturday shopping trip.
All in all, it is a really scary/crazy/exciting/sad/happy time for all of us, and while the kids were upset about the move at first, now they can't wait until next week when we can go and set up their new rooms and they can just be at the farm with all of their stuff. Will it work out and will we stay there? I have no idea. I'm really hoping so. The renovation alone is extremely intriguing for me, as I have never been a part of one that large before, and I've been wanting to update certain things in that house for years!
I will keep blogging throughout the process, and hopefully throw some parenting tips out along the way (there will definitely be one about explaining a big move to an almost-4-year-old).
Oh. There's one more thing.
There is...only...ONE...bathroom.
I'll let you know how that works out.
xoxoxo
C
Edit: I forgot to say, the craziest part of all is that it doesn't feel at all crazy that we are moving in with my in-laws. And, that I hope my kids can build strong relationships with all of their grandparents, because I am very close with all of mine, and even had the opportunity to live with one set when I was young. I always forget to say everything I want to, but I don't want to bore the snot out of all of you by overwriting every single blog. Yowzers. Long edit.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
What's the big deal about the number two?
The number two signifies many different things. A couple, poop (yes, I went there), a peace sign, bunny ears, and the list continues. What I am writing about today is the age. Why is being two years old so important?
Well...it's not, really. It doesn't come with any new rights or responsibilities, unless you count the impending doom of potty training (Seedling's #2's have landed in the toilet for the past 6+ months. So at least that's one less hurdle). It's not like turning 14, 16, or 18. It's not even like turning 10 and getting into those coveted double-digit ages that seem to come with so much more freedom. People talk about the "Terrible Twos", which, I concur, are somewhat terrifying. That isn't what turning two is about.
Turning two is about not being a baby anymore, and being counted by the rest of society as a full-fledged toddler. So I guess it is a little like turning 18. You might even barf everywhere from consuming too much...cake. This is the most bittersweet age. As a parent, you can no longer say "Oh, he/she is a baby still, cut them some slack!" when your child shoves another kid off the slide. You can, however, use the excuse of the "Terrible Twos" when you are running out of the grocery store with an eggplant-faced screaming child, kicking and screaming under your arm. That's kind of nice.
The thing about having a two-year-old once again is the constant reminder of how quickly things progressed after age two. How much their language advances. When they start to understand and enjoy sleep a little more. The way they play and carry out conversations with other children. Their physical strengths, and they ways in which they learn to move differently. All of a sudden, those years start to fly by even more rapidly.
Two makes me long for another child who isn't yet two. It makes me so proud of the ones that I have, and how much love and light they have brought into my life. Two makes me painfully remember those first 6 months and how little I was actually present in that time. It makes me want to go back, and hold that screaming baby instead of getting frustrated and having to put him down. It is amazing what time will do to change your heart. Two is the age that makes me realize that I will never have another child who is less than two. I will never have another baby.
Not to be a total downer on this amazing day - I am also looking forward to all of the advances Seedling will make in this next year. Spring came late in 2013, and already he is out discovering, exploring, and asking so many questions. Learning to ride his balance bike, climbing new things at the park, falling down and getting back up again, swimming, running, and trying everything that seems like it would be fun (or a challenge...he loves being challenged by anything or anyone...that will come back to bite me in his later years, I'm sure). I am also extremely proud of how far he has come with his temper and the way that he plays with his sister. Sprout is also very happy that she gets less cars thrown at her face these days. Still happens, but less.
Sigh. What it comes down to is really that this day is bittersweet. No other way to describe it. I am proud, happy, excited, sad, and longing. All in the same moment. Sorry if Mommy seems to be a basket case today, Seedling. I love you forever and always, and wish you the happiest of birthdays. I will try to make it the best yet (not too hard, only one to beat).
xoxoxo
Mommy
Well...it's not, really. It doesn't come with any new rights or responsibilities, unless you count the impending doom of potty training (Seedling's #2's have landed in the toilet for the past 6+ months. So at least that's one less hurdle). It's not like turning 14, 16, or 18. It's not even like turning 10 and getting into those coveted double-digit ages that seem to come with so much more freedom. People talk about the "Terrible Twos", which, I concur, are somewhat terrifying. That isn't what turning two is about.
Turning two is about not being a baby anymore, and being counted by the rest of society as a full-fledged toddler. So I guess it is a little like turning 18. You might even barf everywhere from consuming too much...cake. This is the most bittersweet age. As a parent, you can no longer say "Oh, he/she is a baby still, cut them some slack!" when your child shoves another kid off the slide. You can, however, use the excuse of the "Terrible Twos" when you are running out of the grocery store with an eggplant-faced screaming child, kicking and screaming under your arm. That's kind of nice.
The thing about having a two-year-old once again is the constant reminder of how quickly things progressed after age two. How much their language advances. When they start to understand and enjoy sleep a little more. The way they play and carry out conversations with other children. Their physical strengths, and they ways in which they learn to move differently. All of a sudden, those years start to fly by even more rapidly.
Two makes me long for another child who isn't yet two. It makes me so proud of the ones that I have, and how much love and light they have brought into my life. Two makes me painfully remember those first 6 months and how little I was actually present in that time. It makes me want to go back, and hold that screaming baby instead of getting frustrated and having to put him down. It is amazing what time will do to change your heart. Two is the age that makes me realize that I will never have another child who is less than two. I will never have another baby.
Not to be a total downer on this amazing day - I am also looking forward to all of the advances Seedling will make in this next year. Spring came late in 2013, and already he is out discovering, exploring, and asking so many questions. Learning to ride his balance bike, climbing new things at the park, falling down and getting back up again, swimming, running, and trying everything that seems like it would be fun (or a challenge...he loves being challenged by anything or anyone...that will come back to bite me in his later years, I'm sure). I am also extremely proud of how far he has come with his temper and the way that he plays with his sister. Sprout is also very happy that she gets less cars thrown at her face these days. Still happens, but less.
Sigh. What it comes down to is really that this day is bittersweet. No other way to describe it. I am proud, happy, excited, sad, and longing. All in the same moment. Sorry if Mommy seems to be a basket case today, Seedling. I love you forever and always, and wish you the happiest of birthdays. I will try to make it the best yet (not too hard, only one to beat).
xoxoxo
Mommy
Monday, April 8, 2013
Time out.
Unreal. I cannot believe that it has been so long since the last time that I posted something new. I attended this fabulous event last year put on by Modern Mama South Edmonton called Mama Blogs, which was supposed to help inspire me to 'find my blogging voice'. I was indeed inspired, and determined to sit down and start blogging again, at least once per week. And then the summer happened. Fall followed. So did the longest winter I ever remember (I realize it's spring now, but really...have you looked outside? Winter wonderland out there).
I found myself in the middle of March, 2013, completely befuddled. Where did all of my time go? What happened to the rest of 2012? Did Christmas happen? I decided that I needed to sit down and have a long, hard look at what happened this past year. Basically, I needed to give myself a TIME OUT.
Life as a mother is busy, no matter how many children you have. As they start to grow and become more interested in sports, arts, and other activities, it just gets worse (or...better?). Right now, all I have to do is drive to preschool twice per week and dance once per week, and I feel like I'm always on the go. This year, though, with things being as busy as they have been, I feel like I have missed out on a lot.
I shouldn't complain about the fact that I have a few different jobs that allow me to stay home during the days with my kids and work evenings and weekends. But I'm going to anyway. You see, I think that being home during the day with my kids is extremely important. I will always strive to find a way that we can survive financially with me being a stay-at-home-sometimes mom. The issue with what I have been doing is this: missed FAMILY time.
Work has taken me to three different pathways this year: practicing massage in the city through a fabulous physiotherapy clinic, continuing to build my own home practice, and instructing dance. I love all three of those pathways; however, they have brought me to a point where I am now working at least 6 days per week, if not 7. And by days, I mean evenings and weekends.
What does that leave me with? Amazing bonding time with my children during the day? Well, to be honest, I have been so burned out that my 'bonding time' has consisted of me often using the TV to distract the kids while I work on choreography and lesson planning, or sewing towels for a customer (oh yeah...another job...), and when they ask me to play, I usually lay down on the floor and play the "Mommy's pretending to take a nap" game, and tell them to tiptoe so they don't awaken the beast. My patience has dwindled and dwindled down to almost nothing. I have a very difficult time being present, even though I am here. I want so badly to be the fun, easygoing mom who has boundless energy and ideas for playing and making their days at home memorable ones. I feel like I am failing them, and myself.
Let's not even mention the relationship aspect of things, or taking time out for my own hobbies and things that I enjoy. Really. I shouldn't. Because it's going to make me sound extremely bitter. Because I am.
Am I ungrateful for the opportunities that I have been presented with? NO! I am so grateful everyday that I can work so my children can take part in the extracurricular programs they want to, and that we can afford to send them to a great school. Do I feel a little overwhelmed? That might be the understatement of the year.
My relationships have suffered this year, with my husband, my children, and even myself. I have become very disconnected with my family, and made the executive decision that THINGS NEED TO CHANGE! So here are the changes I am making:
1. Making my home clinic the priority in terms of my job. I am putting in more time and effort into careful marketing and promotions. That is the reason we built our house in the location it is, and the main reason we even finished our basement.
2. Scheduling time for my family. As sad as that sounds, if I don't do it, I know it won't get done with the way things are right now. Whether it is an afternoon at the pool, or a day where we take the kids out and do whatever they want to do, it needs to happen more often than it has been. All of us, together as a family.
3. Scheduling time for my marriage. Honestly. A date night once a month might be nice. Or once every 2 months. Once every 6 months would be more than it has happened this year. I understand now how people can look at each other when their kids move away after school and say "Hello...who are you, again?"
4. Less evenings and weekends away. No matter WHAT. This means huge financial changes for us. I am giving up my dance instructing job in July, and while it breaks my heart because it has been one of the most rewarding and enjoyable positions I have ever held, I had to decide which job was taking the most time away from my family. I may also be cutting back the amount of out-of-house massages that I take in a week.
5. Getting back to being myself. As a mom, I know some of you will be able to relate to the feeling of losing yourself once you have a child/children. I used to sing. Compose. Dance. Perform. Write. My arts were my outlet, and I feel like I have completely lost sight of who I used to be, and who I still am, somewhere in there. I need to take time to do these things.
When my kids grow up, I want them to be able to look back and remember the early days of being at home with me. Even if it is only a couple snippets of memories here and there, I want them to be good ones. The kind of feelings that you get when you hear a song that reminds you of a wonderful time in your life. I want them to remember what their mom and dad were like together - what the relationship was like, so that they have something positive to model their own future relationships after. I want to be able to look back in 20 years with B and say that I put as much into my kids' early years as I could. I want them to be able to say that I taught them patience, kindness, love, respect, and everything that a parent should.
Praying it all turns out. Sorry, kids. No more pizza Fridays for a while. Well...at least not this Friday.
xoxoxo
Mommy
I found myself in the middle of March, 2013, completely befuddled. Where did all of my time go? What happened to the rest of 2012? Did Christmas happen? I decided that I needed to sit down and have a long, hard look at what happened this past year. Basically, I needed to give myself a TIME OUT.
Life as a mother is busy, no matter how many children you have. As they start to grow and become more interested in sports, arts, and other activities, it just gets worse (or...better?). Right now, all I have to do is drive to preschool twice per week and dance once per week, and I feel like I'm always on the go. This year, though, with things being as busy as they have been, I feel like I have missed out on a lot.
I shouldn't complain about the fact that I have a few different jobs that allow me to stay home during the days with my kids and work evenings and weekends. But I'm going to anyway. You see, I think that being home during the day with my kids is extremely important. I will always strive to find a way that we can survive financially with me being a stay-at-home-sometimes mom. The issue with what I have been doing is this: missed FAMILY time.
Work has taken me to three different pathways this year: practicing massage in the city through a fabulous physiotherapy clinic, continuing to build my own home practice, and instructing dance. I love all three of those pathways; however, they have brought me to a point where I am now working at least 6 days per week, if not 7. And by days, I mean evenings and weekends.
What does that leave me with? Amazing bonding time with my children during the day? Well, to be honest, I have been so burned out that my 'bonding time' has consisted of me often using the TV to distract the kids while I work on choreography and lesson planning, or sewing towels for a customer (oh yeah...another job...), and when they ask me to play, I usually lay down on the floor and play the "Mommy's pretending to take a nap" game, and tell them to tiptoe so they don't awaken the beast. My patience has dwindled and dwindled down to almost nothing. I have a very difficult time being present, even though I am here. I want so badly to be the fun, easygoing mom who has boundless energy and ideas for playing and making their days at home memorable ones. I feel like I am failing them, and myself.
Let's not even mention the relationship aspect of things, or taking time out for my own hobbies and things that I enjoy. Really. I shouldn't. Because it's going to make me sound extremely bitter. Because I am.
Am I ungrateful for the opportunities that I have been presented with? NO! I am so grateful everyday that I can work so my children can take part in the extracurricular programs they want to, and that we can afford to send them to a great school. Do I feel a little overwhelmed? That might be the understatement of the year.
My relationships have suffered this year, with my husband, my children, and even myself. I have become very disconnected with my family, and made the executive decision that THINGS NEED TO CHANGE! So here are the changes I am making:
1. Making my home clinic the priority in terms of my job. I am putting in more time and effort into careful marketing and promotions. That is the reason we built our house in the location it is, and the main reason we even finished our basement.
2. Scheduling time for my family. As sad as that sounds, if I don't do it, I know it won't get done with the way things are right now. Whether it is an afternoon at the pool, or a day where we take the kids out and do whatever they want to do, it needs to happen more often than it has been. All of us, together as a family.
3. Scheduling time for my marriage. Honestly. A date night once a month might be nice. Or once every 2 months. Once every 6 months would be more than it has happened this year. I understand now how people can look at each other when their kids move away after school and say "Hello...who are you, again?"
4. Less evenings and weekends away. No matter WHAT. This means huge financial changes for us. I am giving up my dance instructing job in July, and while it breaks my heart because it has been one of the most rewarding and enjoyable positions I have ever held, I had to decide which job was taking the most time away from my family. I may also be cutting back the amount of out-of-house massages that I take in a week.
5. Getting back to being myself. As a mom, I know some of you will be able to relate to the feeling of losing yourself once you have a child/children. I used to sing. Compose. Dance. Perform. Write. My arts were my outlet, and I feel like I have completely lost sight of who I used to be, and who I still am, somewhere in there. I need to take time to do these things.
When my kids grow up, I want them to be able to look back and remember the early days of being at home with me. Even if it is only a couple snippets of memories here and there, I want them to be good ones. The kind of feelings that you get when you hear a song that reminds you of a wonderful time in your life. I want them to remember what their mom and dad were like together - what the relationship was like, so that they have something positive to model their own future relationships after. I want to be able to look back in 20 years with B and say that I put as much into my kids' early years as I could. I want them to be able to say that I taught them patience, kindness, love, respect, and everything that a parent should.
Praying it all turns out. Sorry, kids. No more pizza Fridays for a while. Well...at least not this Friday.
xoxoxo
Mommy
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