All things change with time.

So it's the eve of the last time I am going to pump for Sprout, and I am feeling so many emotions. I know that it's not the same as breastfeeding - it's not like I had some kind of deranged attachment to my pump or anything - but I still feel a little sad that I am not going to be supplying sustenance for my daughter anymore. The plan is to continue feeding her frozen breastmilk combined with a small amount of formula to get her acquainted with it until we run out of my icy supply from the basement. Is it completely irrational for me to still feel a minute amount of guilt about the formula?

It is my decision to stop pumping. I could continue, and that is the driving force behind my guilt. I have already had to let go of breastfeeding, and now that Sprout is close to crawling (she doesn't quite get up on her knees, but she does push herself all the way up on her hands and perform a mad backwards shimmy) I just feel like she's growing up too fast. Pumping for her was the one thing that I was doing that let me hold on to the baby phase.

On the positive side of things, I can start eating dairy again! That, and I can have the occasional glass or two of wine and not have to watch the clock before I pump. I don't have to stay up past midnight every night for the last pump of the day, and I don't have to scramble to pump first thing in the morning. Going out during the day will have many less restrictions, which is awesome. I won't have to worry about getting home at a certain point in the afternoon and leaving events early so that I can pump. No more pumping in the car on road trips, running the dishwasher more than necessary to clean the pump parts, buying supplementary pump parts to replace worn out ones, etc. etc.

On paper, it looks like the pros list is much longer than the cons; however, the way that I feel creates a list of emotions about five miles long. So here's a toast to the nutrients I have been able to provide for you, Sprout. I am so proud of how you have grown, and I cannot help but smile when I think about the fact that I have monumentally contributed to your development and physical growth. I hope that you continue to stay healthy and happy, and I know that this switch will affect me much more than you will even notice! Mommy is going to move on to a more relaxing hobby of crafting. I love you more than life itself, little Sprout.

xoxoxo

Mommy