Dinglehopper.

I have a feeling that 'E' is going to be for exhaustion. Not from Sprout, really, although she has become quite the crabby mc teething monster lately. No, the exhaustion has been stemming from an ongoing issue with my thyroid gland. I have an autoimmune thyroid disease called Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Google it. I'm too tired to explain! But I digress, and I am skipping the letter of the day! Let's talk about some more depressing things, seeing as how I'm in that kind of mood today (and depressed starts with 'D'). Oh, and it's raining outside. Perfect.

D is for Dieting and Debt.

The first of our 'D' words today - diet - is something that has been nonexistent in my life. I have never gone on one, or tried some new fad (Atkins, etc.) to get my body into the shape that I would like. I suppose the next blog subject could be exercise...or a total lack thereof. Lately, I have been feeling a little down about the current state of my post-prego body. I can't really complain, and will probably get smacked if I do, but here's my issue: I've lost above and beyond the weight that I gained during my pregnancy (and the miscarried one previous to it), but there have been seemingly irreversable changes to the structure of my *ahem* curves that I am none too pleased with. First off - what the hell happened to my hips and upper thighs? They turned to Jello post-partum and haven't gotten any sort of structure back. I haven't been trying that hard, but it's not like I sit on my ass all day and do nothing. I haul around a twenty-something pound child all day every day. The stretch marks that gouged my ass, inner and outer thighs, and lower back are ALL still there. They aren't quite as purple, but they are definitely not going anywhere anytime soon. My belly button has turned into a deep cavernous pit that is only good for catching disgusting amounts of lint and looking gross in a bikini. To top it all off, though, I think the worst change has been the deflation of my once-gloriously-perky-and-full breasts. As soon as I stopped pumping, it was as though someone stuck each one with a pin and they wheezed their last puff of perkiness out, leaving me with saggy pancakes that are a full cup size smaller than they used to be. Boo-freaking-hoo, right? Sob story, I know. But no matter what, and even though I would sacrifice my body all over again for my beautiful little girl, it is still hard to walk past that bathroom mirror and get in the shower. Most days I run. It will get better, and if I actually get motivated to do something about the saggy baggies (breasts and thighs), I might perk up - literally.

On to the next topic. Debt. It's a scary one. Being off for 13 weeks before I gave birth to Sprout really didn't help with our debt situation. I went back to work after 3.5 months at home, but that is a LONG time to be living off of one person's income. And we weren't really living, we just went further and further into debt each and every month, although we were being careful. Lately, I don't know what happened, but it seems like all responsibility has gone out the window for both of us. We've gotten FAR beyond minor debt, and right now it really seems like we're never going to get out. Both of us have had to renounce our bad habits. Mine - online shopping. His - small purchases (coffee, lunches out, etc.) that have really added up. The driving force behind getting rid of our debt? Wanting to have another child in the next year and a half, and being able to put money away for both every month for their futures.

So those are my dilemmas. Trivial, I know. In the grand scheme of life, neither really matter. We are all healthy, and have a beautiful daughter who is not lacking in anything, especially love. I need to stop shopping, and stop being shallow. I'm alive. My hair is in desperate need of a dinglehopper (see: The Little Mermaid), but otherwise I'm doing okay (Ha!). Whiny little Sprout is currently stuck between her crawl and sitting positions - hilarious, but she's getting awfully frustrated. Mommy to the rescue, little one!

xoxoxo

Mommy