The Road to Hell...

Ah, road trips. Before Sprout came along, I used to love packing myself and husband in the car (usually sans dog) and going for long drives. Though we were almost always heading to Southern Alberta to visit family, occasionally we drove to Canmore (my favourite), Jasper, and the Provost area. Even as a child, I loved traveling - no matter how short the distance! My sister, however, made trips as "daunting" as going across Edmonton a little more harrowing. Motion sickness. Ugh. Once, we were coming back from the Space & Science Centre (I have no idea what it's called now, since the name has changed at least twice) after viewing a laser light show, and she proceeded to yak all over the floor of the backseat of my dad's car. I sat with my right ear pressed firmly against the window and my left hand jammed so hard into my other ear that I thought my head might pop. And then there was the time we flew in a little 4-person Cessna to Moose Jaw to visit my stepdad's family when I was about 8. Barfing ensued again, but into a big green garbage bag. That would have been fine, had it been completely sealed. As it was, I ended up with a big slime of Sprite and Twizzler all down the side of my brand new Levis jean jacket. Needless to say, I was NOT impressed.

So I've had my fair share of gross-out experiences, and I've had some amazing trips in the past. Let me share my wonderful expedition that started out on April Fools Day.

I woke up on Thursday morning after having a minor sore throat for a few days, and felt like I had gotten flung against a brick wall, dragged by a semi-truck, and then had someone attack my throat with a cheese grater. "Even the teeny little hairs on my toes hurt," I exclaimed to my unsympathetic husband, who was also feeling worse for wear. Sprout seemed to be a little off as well, so we decided that we'd wait until Friday to leave for the Easter weekend. Not a big deal, but then my husband proceeded to whine about missing his family, and I felt awful about the prospect of not going. Guilt trip accomplished, dear man. I sucked it up (snot, that is), got myself and the rest of the family (dog included, unfortunately) packed, and we left that afternoon.

**Side note: I cannot take cold medication. Most use a decongestant called Pseudoephedrine, which makes me absolutely wired. Worse than caffeine. I'm also not supposed to take cold medication because it interferes with my thyroid medication and function. On top of it all, decongestants decrease milk production by up to 75%, which I really can't afford to do at this point. I have a lot of milk saved up, but not enough for that kind of downfall. I could take Halls, and regular Tylenol/Advil. When you're hacking up a lung? Not really enough.

The drive down was hilarious. Sprout was really good, but only slept about 2 hours out of the entire 5 hour drive, which meant I had to sit in the back seat and entertain her the rest of the time. Here's my list of what I accomplished during the drive down:

1. Change poopy diaper on lap in back seat of a Sunfire. Ask me how fun THAT is with a 16 pound child trying to roll around.

**Side note: Dog was barfing while I was changing Sprout. Yes, we have a dog that gets carsick. It's disgusting. Once, husband had to "catch" the puke in his hand because I couldn't pull over fast enough. I laughed (he was not amused) while he exclaimed "PulloverpulloverpulloverpullOVER!!!!" This time, like every other time after that fated day, we had a bucket in the car. Dog does not like puking in the bucket. It freaks her out, so husband has to hold her head while she yaks. Seriously. She. Is. A. DOG.

2. Pump. This would be fine if we weren't on the highway, where every perverted trucker tries to leer into your car from up above. Catch a view of my National Geographic pumping nipples while you can, boys. While you're at it, check out the finger I'm holding up.

3. Entertain Sprout. Normally, I love playing with my baby. I'm a sucker for silly songs and making crazy faces just to hear her little giggles and squeals. Trying to do that in a backseat with your head basically in the carseat bucket? Ugh. I got my first (and hopefully last) tastes of what motion sickness is like this weekend.

4. REST. Last night (Monday) was the first night in 4 nights that I actually got a little sleep. It was also the first night in 4 nights that Sprout slept her usual 8.5 hour stretch. More about that later.

The drive there wasn't too bad, honestly. If I wasn't feeling so crummy, it might have actually been fun. Here's the thing though - I felt like shit. I haven't had a cold/flu/whatever the hell this thing was since high school. Fever, chills, nausea, headache, stuffy nose, sneezing, coughing, sore throat (complete with blisters), chest congestion, and complete laryngitis for 3 days. I was in no shape to be traveling, let alone taking care of a not-feeling-so-hot-herself baby anywhere but home. I feel so bad now, because I know the trip was the reason she was so out of sorts over the weekend. Now we're just trying to reset her poor little system. If my husband had any common sense whatsoever, we just would have stayed home. I just felt so bad for him that I couldn't really protest. I did, however, suggest that we go home early after Sprout had the worst night she has ever had, and was blown off. I'll bet you can guess my reaction to that one. If I had a voice, it would have been heard in Scotland, I'm pretty sure.

I'm not going to talk about my in-laws, or the rest of my husband's extended family, for obvious reasons. They are amazing people, and are more than generous when it comes to us and to Sprout. I have my issues with them, and have had past issues as well, but they're not worth discussing in a public manner. Let's just leave it at that.

The drive home was much the same. Pooping, diaper changes on lap, vomitrocious dog, motion sickness. I actually had to get my husband to switch places with me and let me drive for the last 2 hours. Sprout, though, must have known she was going home. We stopped in Airdrie to visit some close friends and their 2 adorable boys, and after that, she slept soundly the entire way home. And overnight. Thank goodness.

When we arrived home, I realized a few things. I am not EVER going to attempt that trip again if Sprout or I are feeling less than stellar. Traveling with a baby is difficult enough, and I have an extremely happy child most of the time. Add in the lack of sleep, sickness, and crazy pooch, and you're headed for a giant post-trip blowout. I love my husband, and that is why I went this weekend. He knows that, and knows that today I will be heading to the walk-in clinic to find out if those blisters on my uvula and possible sinus infection warrant antibiotic treatment (I refuse to take them unless it's absolutely necessary, and I will NOT feed Sprout my milk if I have to take anything). I'm expecting a month full of flowers and showers of adoration. Is that unrealistic? I am the one who makes the sacrifices around here, right? Or maybe I'm just being a princess. I think it's a bit of both. Either way, on with the affection. Sorry for the lack of blogging lately. No wi-fi out at the farm this weekend. Sprout is having a gigantor nap, so I'm going to go make some "good for the soul, good in the bowl" soup.

Sleep tight, little Sprout.

xoxoxo

Mommy